I am not sure if I am the best person to write about this emotion. Although I have had my fair share of fearful encounters, there are objects and situations I fear. I choose to face it or not face it and then move on.
The fear I am talking about today has no logic, no attachment to objects or events, nearly impossible to trace, and moving on from it is the most difficult thing for one. An unknown fear.
I am generally fearful of water bodies. I refrain from stepping in smaller boats when in deep waters, I cannot possibly imagine myself rafting in the rough waters, I stay very close to the shores at sea beaches. Now Imagine a scenario; if I bring this fear with me wherever I go; in the washroom whenever there is a sound of water flowing, I fear that it spills over, fills the room and there wouldn’t be an escape. Or, whenever there are heavy rains, I feel the foundations of the house would melt away along with it. So, I am at a constant alert if there is a sound of water reaching my ear. I won’t rest till the rain stops. In this case, would I ever be able to sleep soundly? Every unknown sound would shake my adrenal glands and send distress signals. I would always be on the lookout for alarming events, in a fight or flight mode. And, I would eventually replicate this pattern in everything in my life. Hence, I remain in a constant state of fear which has no logic, no meaning, completely unfounded, yet very real for me.
Does the above mean that I am not competent?
Or, does it mean that I had an emotion like anyone else, it got aggravated with constant hits in life, which caused extreme anxiety and resulted in depletion of the defense mechanism within the body which countered it.
We constantly ignore our anxiety and stress. We do not discuss and take necessary help on time as any other illness. Hence, it gets to an extreme point where we have no other option but to seek help.
If anyone comes to you with stress or mentioning fear, please don’t brush it off or ask the person to relax. We don’t know what they would be going through to finally seek outside help. Empathize, let them be, hear them out, don’t judge, don’t doubt their competency and skill. They are fighting a battle every day within these unconfounded feelings. Some Days they win, some days they don’t. Be there unconditionally, when they can’t be there for themselves. You can at least make them feel, they are not alone in it. This could help them find solutions on their own and be receptive to more options that could help.
Love, appreciate, be there.
