I have been very generous at saying “thank you” to people all my life, and many of us do. I want to share what “feeling” the thank you did for me. In the things we do during the day, people we meet, talk to over phone, email, etc… we all use “thank you” a lot. We have permanent signatures in our emails with the sweet little “thanks” & regards to it. I do too. But, do we feel this “thank you” every time we say it, write it or is it just a habit? For me it had become a habit. I was not mindful or involved about my thank you’s.
Once, when I was sad & angry about an incident in my life and blaming everyone around me for the same, someone very close to me asked, “are you thankful for all you have at present?” My instant reply was, “yeah, of course, I am always thankful. When I go to the temple, I always thank the Almighty for everything in my life, yet I still go through this pain which isn’t caused by me directly and hence sorrow & anger.” The next question was, “how does it feel to be thankful then?” I said, “what do you mean?” The reply was, “if you are so thankful and you say it and write so often, why this frustration and anger? Do really feel thankfulness when you express it?”
This thought stuck with me. Without really understanding what it means, this discussion somehow ended, and I did not think about it again for a while and then an incidental meeting happened.
Me & my husband had taken a seat at a co-working space, in 2018. Obviously, we had lunch together. One day, he had to go for a meeting, and I had no company for lunch. Initially I thought about skipping lunch, but got too hungry and decided to eat alone at a corner table (imagine this: the reason we took seats at a co-working place was to network, meet people, etc… and here I was almost skipping lunch as I “did not” have anyone to eat lunch with.)So, I pick up my box, moving towards the smallish cafeteria and saw that all the tables were occupied. I stood there again thinking whether I am too hungry. I was. So, I told myself “what the F*** just join in with somebody, quietly eat and be done with it.” Went to the emptiest table with a couple of “decent” looking guys eating quietly while surfing their mobiles. Feeling safe enough, went and sat in one of the empty chairs, they did not mind. I opened my meticulously prepared lunch with all the condiments, hot and yummy (my mom was living in the city then ;)) and these poor guys were having half cooked chapatis & some vegetable. I could not help but offer them too (I am a bit soft that way). Their faces lit and happily accepted. And that is how I met the 2 wonderful founders of the app, Gratitude.
You must be wondering why this entire background of the lunch scene. What I have realized over time, is we bind ourselves with these limitations that have no meaning. If there is a certain way, we are living life, we should carry on with just that. No need for exploring anything new. If you like to eat alone, it means you should always eat alone. If you don’t initiate a discussion with a stranger, it means you should never do it, if you like the AC in the car with windows up, it means you never put it down to feel the natural air, you know, things like these. Who has made these rules for us? Is it written in our “guidebook to live” which was handed over to us when we were born? No, right? So why be bound by anything? Any rule? Any way? Why not explore something different & new, now & then? When we just shift a tiny bit, look at the usual and seemingly unimportant things we do, through a different lens occasionally, we will see and experience something completely amazing. I guarantee that! Try it! So, what I did here, was stepped out this of unnecessary, impenetrable & useless shell I created around myself for no reason and had probably a life changing experience. (and it was not much I had to do, I just decided to have lunch ;))
Coming back to the guys & their app, “Gratitude”. I know a lot of people write their thoughts in a journal. I used to do it too when I was in school. I realized one day that someone had read my journal and I stopped writing. Their app is plain & simple. Enter in a Journal for what you feel grateful about. It sounded pretty easy & I was happy someone was not purely thinking business and created something which could help in ways we do not understand completely. When I went home that evening, I downloaded the app. I set a timing for 10 pm daily to write what I am grateful for. Simple right? So, I got a notification at 10 that night to write 3 things I was grateful for in that moment. Happily, opened the page, and started thinking (when I was supposed to be feeling ;)). Trust me it was very difficult to write beyond one point. I could have written generic things, but then what was the point of doing all the sho-shaa? Who was I doing it for? No one was going to see it; it was just for me (all these points made all the pretense go out of the window). And that is precisely the reason, I could just write one reason/point that I was grateful for. What happened next day was incredible. I was more aware than usual about the good things happening to me during the day (small/not so small) and recalled 3 of them when the alarm went off at 10 pm. The idea was new, thought was new, and it kept me going for the next few days. But then, life sets in right. It got difficult on tough days to write 3 things I was grateful for at the end of the day. But I pushed myself to feel (yeah, feel during these times), that I spent a good 10–12 hours awake and could not find even 3 things I am thankful for in this entire time! And this thought always helped.
Now, the list gets longer every single day. I am completely aware of the good things that are happening to me, even during the tough days, there are always on an average 12–15 things I can think of that I am grateful for at any given point of time.
So, what happens when you go into this feeling of gratitude? What happened with me was, it opened my mind to ways/thoughts/ideas, I never knew were possible. First, and most important of all, I became happier. And, know one thing. I did not make any significant changes in my life, my outside circumstances were more or less the same. Internally, when I experienced, felt, and wrote about things I was grateful for, I subconsciously gave the space of my mind which was in constant complaint mode to a constant gratitude mode. Trust me, when this happens your mind starts unblocking, you start becoming self-motivated & start inviting towards you, everything you want in life, as the “limitations”, “boundaries”, etc. etc. start going away. I have experienced it first-hand!!
Now when you are reading it, believe me, I am grateful. Thank you.
