Scene: Helpline “H3”
Helpline Operator: “HO”
Caller Unknown: “U”
It is a Saturday afternoon. The helpline is generally closed on Saturday afternoons and Sundays. Shobha had come down to the office to pick up some files that day. She was about to leave when one of the phones rang. The helpline team had acknowledged the fact that people would call on the off days as well. But, they need to take some time off, to be in good shape to serve for the rest of the days. This is the dilemma they dealt with, on and off. When the phone rang, the dilemma again crossed Shobha’s mind. Since she was already there, she went ahead and picked up the call.
HO: Hello, you have reached H3, how can I be of assistance to you?
U: Hello?
HO: Yes ma’am. This is Shobha here. How can I help you today?
U: I have been trying to reach this number for the last 4 Saturdays.
The voice of the lady was slow and weak.
HO: I apologize ma’am. We are generally closed on weekends. I am available now. Can you please share with me now?
U: This is the only time I get in the entire week to make a phone call. Please do not call back on this number.
HO: Yes Ma’am. We will never call back on this number.
Sounding scared, but determined to get some help now, the lady continued.
U: My Husband goes for swimming at this time for 2 hours in the society pool. He keeps his phone on charge at home. So, I use it then. He doesn’t know it, as I delete the call log.
HO: ok, Ma’am. I got it. I will never call back on this number.
U: You must be wondering why do I have to sneak and call?
HO: Why do you have to, Ma’am?
U: You can call me Anita. You are Shobha, right?
HO: Yes Anita.
U: Shobha, I have been married only for a few months now. It was an arranged marriage. All was going on well. Until one day!
Anita went quiet.
HO: I am listening Anita, please tell me the entire story.
U: I had a watsapp group of my school mates on my phone. When my husband returned from office one day, he saw a few texts from that group. He reacted in a manner I had never seen before. He started abusing me verbally. I was shocked and couldn’t respond to him. That night before sleeping he asked me to quit the group and slept off without hearing me out. I couldn’t sleep the entire night as I did not really get what I did wrong. I quit the group nevertheless.
HO: Did things get better after that?
U: No. Next day morning, I got a group call from my friends, wanting to know why I quit the group. I was in the shower, so my husband picked up the call and informed my friends that I would call them back. As I stepped into the room, he threw the phone on my face in a fit, yelling abusive words at me. He walked out of the house and I sat there, my nose bleeding slightly, where the phone had hit.
Anita started sobbing, but calmed down quickly as she knew, she had little time on her hand.
HO: Anita, how are you now? Are you injured?
Anita: In many places than one. I felt guilty, that I had done something wrong, that made him behave so badly with me. That day he came from the office earlier than usual, carrying chocolates for me. He apologized to me, and made me promise that I would not do anything, for him to behave in this manner. Confused and hurt, I promised. I did not know then, I was digging a hole for myself. Whether it was food I cooked, or the TV Programmes I watched, whether I was talking to my parents or cousins over phone, he would find faults to abuse me verbally most of the times or throw things at me. At the end, would apologize and make me promise that I wouldn’t do anything to instigate him. From then on, everything I did, was to make sure he wouldn’t get mad or provoked by any act of mine. This went on for weeks, with bruises on me, now and then. Then a complete lock-down was announced a month and a half back.
She went quiet for a while. It seemed to Shobha, that she went on to check if her husband was coming or not. Anita continued..
U: The time he would spend outside home, was peaceful for me. I had compromised with the occasional good moments between us, and the fact that I had my time for 8–9 hours in a day to myself. I kept telling myself, it wasn’t so bad. At least, he took care of all my needs. What more do I want. Until, day 2 of the lock-down! One of my single neighbors came to visit me, as she normally did during my husband’s office hours. He overheard our conversation. She talked about the trip, she and her boyfriend took just before lock-down and was showing me pictures of them. After she left, my husband came out of his work space and hit me hard right across my face.
There was a stunning silence momentarily before she continued.
U: He did not explain himself. Took my phone from the table and went back to his work space. I was left standing there in tears and shock again, wondering what I did. I realized right then, I had made a mistake of not saying anything when the time was right. I sat there crying the entire day. He did not speak to me for the next two days. I took a resolve to get out of this marriage.
Unfortunately, the complete lock-down couldn’t have come in a worse time for me. I was left with no phone, no freedom, no voice of my own. My parents would call at his phone now and then, as he told them my phone had broken down and couldn’t repair now.
He had completely changed into this version of a person, who I had felt was inside him, but did not acknowledge it until now.
Are you still with me, Shobha?
HO: Yes Anita, completely. Please say as much as you want to..
Anita: I am hurrying up, as I don’t know the time I have. If not now, I will call you next Saturday and complete the discussion.
He prefers me mute, unless spoken to. If he likes the food, I prepare, it is a good day for me. Or else, the hot soup or pulses will be thrown at my hand right away. Same is the case with tea or coffee. He throws only at a small part of my body, so that I am hurt enough, but not enough to seek professional help.
I am currently in a lot of pain physically and mentally. I saw the helpline number on a newspaper which was wrapped on one of the food items he got one day. I didn’t know what else to do, so I have been calling this number for the past four weeks. I did not even know if you can help me, but something in me wanted to call. Can you help me by any means?
Shobha answered quickly but patiently.
HO: Anita, how much time do you think you have at hand at present?
U: I took one hour to decide whether to call you or not, it has been another thirty-forty minutes, so close to ten minutes I guess.
Shobha got worried, but held her end.
HO: Anita, first. I want you to calm down right now. Yes? Can you do that?
U: Yes. (she takes a deep breath)
HO: Now, listen to me very carefully. You have to protect yourself from further physical hurt. Do whatever it takes, to keep your husband hurting you physically anymore. Pretend, if you have to. Smile, if you have to. Do you have a camera with you?
U: Yes. It isn’t used anymore, since phones, etc.. but I have one digital camera.
HO: Good. I want you to take pictures of your bruises, small or not so small. Do it very carefully and quietly. Do not risk it. Hide the camera where he can’t possibly see. Is that possible?
Anita answered hesitantly.
U: yes. It can be.
HO: Anita, you made efforts to pick up the phone and reach this number. It is not a coincidence I am talking to you right now. Do not hesitate, trust me and please do as I request. Can you?
U: Ok. Yes. I will do it.
HO: Is it safe to talk another 5 minutes?
U: yes.
HO: Is it possible for you to share your address?
U: But, what are going to do with that? He will go further crazy if he comes to know that I have shared the address.
HO: ok. You do not have to. I wanted some help to reach out to you.
U: I am not sure I have the guts to stand up to him yet. What if someone reaches out and I am still left to live with him. He will hurt me even more. I am scared. I do not want my parents to worry over me in these times.
HO: Don’t worry. I will quickly say this before hanging up. I will wait for your call next Saturday as well. If possible, please call back. Help is just a phone call away. I can help you in getting out of the house, in putting your husband behind bars, I can help in not letting you get hurt anymore. Every small bruise, small comment counts. You do not have to tolerate anything. You deserve respect. You deserve it from everyone. You are not at fault. Help is available, my sincere request to you is to reach out. You are not alone anymore, I with you in this. Please, take care of yourself.
Anita started crying hearing her words.
U: thank you Shobha. I have to go now.
Somehow, a feeling of strength came in Anita. She felt relief in the fact that someone was looking out for her. All she had to do was pick up the phone. She told herself she wasn’t at fault at all. It wasn’t her who had made her husband react in this manner. It was purely his doing. She was just at the wrong place and the at wrong time. She gathered guts and resolved to call Shobha even before Saturday if required. She would manage somehow.
Shobha, sat there numb in the chair, long after the phone call. She prayed. She at least had the satisfaction, that Anita realized the need to reach out for help. She had witnessed so many women tolerating the violence at home for years without even hinting at what they were going through. It is always a time taking process. She knows that. First phone call is the first step. That is why she had started the helpline. If someone is ready to speak about their hurt, they are ready to heal. She knew Anita would be out of this soon and without harm. She prayed again and got to up to leave the office.
She committed to the idea to keeping the helpline open on the weekends as well. She will figure out the means to do so..
